What is Leadership

In the Western culture, leadership is the ability to be a person of character, within ones community, to be in charge of groups, committees and be an outstanding person in ones church, organization or school.

In the Eastern culture, a leader is the one who seeks to master himself first. Not that he/she has actually finished mastering themselves, rather that they continuously look within, to seek the better part of themselves.

So where the Western culture looks to a sign with eyes and ears, or for persons of character or outwardly signs of guidance to enlightenment, the Eastern culture look inward toward their own
soul, character, and how they react to a situation or thought.

Socrates said (and I paraphrase), that those who seek positions of leadership, should be the last persons to be put in that position. Buddha also stated that the correct path, is down the middle, neither leaning or favoring, rather in attempting to find the BALANCE.

While we see considerable talk and propaganda about leadership in our society, whether it is in the daily barrage of political talk or posturing, or in advertisements of martial schools, the interesting question remains. What is leadership?

To me, a leader is the person who on daily basis, seeks to find himself/herself, and the truth within themselves, and then reaches not to bring people to HIS truth, rather have others come to terms with their own truthful soul. As the truth is absolute i.e. water is two parts hydrogen, and one part oxygen, truthfulness is relative, i.e. most water is made of hydrogen and oxygen at base level, but carry different minerals, sediments, enzymes or such.

A leader is the person, who helps you face your weaknesses and shows you the possibilities of what or who you could really be, not what you achieve. Because in order to achieve, you must first become, where as we are taught in the Western society, that if your achieve, then you become.

For example, if I have a million dollars, then I would do this or the other, and I would feels good. The exact opposite has to happen first, first you must like who you are, or work hard to become the person you feel good about, then you will do what needs to be done, and at the end you will have your million.

When looking for leaders, I believe that one should seek those that help you walk alongside them, who teach you and help you to find your own way in time. Not those who wish to bring you to their way, have you walk behind them.

Good Luck.

When parents come up short...

I really hate to bring this subject up, but it needs to be addressed. This is the issue close to my heart, and it happens to hurt more kids on short and long term basis. The issue is inability of parents to act, in lieu of disagreement or opposition from their child, to enroll in karate.

Just last month, I interviewed a 9-year old boy named Sean. Sean is a bright kid, who is coming to the age, where he needs to assert himself in school and society, as a young man. His father admits that he himself was always coy and to this day, he lacks the confidence and esteem to face down opponents, antagonists, or be comfortable doing a presentation in front of a friendly crowd. Sean doesn't make eye-contact, slouches, mumbles and acts timid.

Sean's mom after seeing the program, agrees wholeheartedly that the program is exactly and completely what Sean needs. But, she wants to wait, so that when they come back from "vacation," to bring Sean in, and get him started.

Sean has a big problem getting outside of his "Comfort-zone," or "CZ" for short. He is afraid of making a mistake, and not looking good. He showed up to the class, with much reservation, and was afraid to even walk in and do the warm-up. Being the big-kid that I am, I re-routed his anxiety, and quietly but eventually brought him to the mat. Within a minute, he was laughing and enjoyed punching and kicking the bag, you could real feel the positive energy from this kid.

His father was amazed at Sean's attitude prior and post practice, and my ability to get him to come in. He was overjoyed, and could not wait to share the news with his wife. They both knew Sean needs the kind of training that I offered, and the father wanted to know that if he also joined, would it help his shortcomings. Obviously the answer is YES!

Sean came the second time with his dad, and had a semi-private lesson. He had a great time, and showed great promise. He wanted to get started, but Mom wasn't sure. What do you think that momentary doubt did to Sean.

After one week of waiting, ten days of vacation and another of "Considering it," Mom informed me, that they have decided not get him started! You go figure. Mom stated that Sean NEVER liked coming, he only came to class to please his parents, and that they don't want to force him. IF I ONLY HAD A DOLLAR FOR EVERY TIME I HEARD THAT LINE.

The meaning of that line is, I can't assert my decision as a parent, so I am going to hide behind my child's inability, to hide my own inability.

Here's when both parents come short. After almost four weeks of waiting between his initial show of interest, they decided "Not to force him to do it." What these parents failed to recognize, is that the reason why Sean was resisting, is that he again was allowed to get in to his CZ, and that is dangerous. THAT IS EXACTLY WHY THEY BROUGHT HIM TO ME!
You can't grow, you won't learn, you won't move forward. In short YOU ROT! When you don't go beyond your comfort zone.

His mom told me, that they are getting help from the "Church" counseling group. A group of adults, who are there to help Sean find his strength. Church counseling is fine, but how many of these Kindhearted folks have the ability, desire, knowledge and experience to work with Sean 3-6 hours a week. How many are calling to follow-up, and see what other needs they can address.

Just because it is free, it does not make it the right choice. Who loses here? Sean! Mom and dad will eventually throw their hands up and say, I did my best. Well, did you? Really?

When we humans are pushed to go beyond our comfort zone (CZ), every neuron in our body fights us. Our mind builds a formidable barricade of doubt, fear, pain and discomfort (all of which are imaginary), in order to stop us in trying something new.

You might as well have asked Sean (or kids in his situation) to bungee-jump off a 1000 foot bridge. The problem is, that given the choice between constantly facing your weakness in karate class, or jumping once off the bridge, he would probably choose the latter, because it is only once.

Life choices are hard. To allow a child to make life choices, is wrong. Somebody has to be the adult here. If it is beyond your CZ to help your child, imagine how hard it is for the child to go beyond his Comfort Zone.

Parents need to take charge of their child's growth. If you can not see the help and benefit that martial arts can bring in to your child's life, as well as yours, ask around. Expect to pay for it, and assert you decision.

No amount of private schooling, tutoring and church counseling, is going to replace your touch as a parent, your assertiveness, and your chance to truly help develop your child's character. Get involved, get moving and push a little. Stop being afraid of their pouting and resistance. You will reap the rewards later.

Importance of Parental Support

Geck Family - One of the best examples of parental
support in karate and its benefits.
We all want the best for our kids, and deep inside, we know the importance of support and guidance that we as parents must provide. There are lot of talk about why we should support, and the importance of it, but hardly any on HOW to support a child in their endeavor.

Supporting an activity, is more than showing up and paying for it. It is more than a pat on a back, and a toy award, for an achievement. Support has many dimensions that must be adhered to, sometimes in spite of the wants of the participant. Allow me to elaborate.

As a parent, we want the best for our child. I like to change that phrase so that in actually benefits the child more. WE SHOULD WANT THE BEST RESULT, for our child. This small twist changes the dynamics of support.

When we show up to watch our child perform, receive and award, pass an exam, or achieve any little step in their progress, we have done the STANDARD amount of support. The bare minimum. Indeed, if we can not even give that, we shouldn't expect much from our children either.

To surpass the standard and go beyond, we must take further steps. We should get involved and be committed. Read about the activity, educate ourselves, research it, even do it ourselves as well. Whether it is Karate, dance, gymnastics, or other such activities, get involved. Find out more about the teacher, are there classes where both of you can do it together, ask if you can act as an assistant, ask for books or articles to read. Get involved.

Another part of support is to know the complete purpose of it. In engineering, there is structural supports. Obviously, they are there to circumvent wrong types of movement, or to guide the structure in the correct direction. As in any structural support, once you can see the benefits of an activity for your child (beyond their schoolwork that is), then you must support it completely.

This sometimes means standing firm, when your child wants to quit one activity, for sake of another, or just quit. This is when your structural support must kick in. To support them, you must redirect the pressure, and re-motivate them, so that they continue with the activity.

Talk to your coach/sensei/sifu or instructor. Find out what the challenge is, and help to resolve it. If an activity is beneficial to their growth as an individual, then don't just throw your hands up and give-up. Ask for help, and find out how they can be redirected to benefit from the activity.

Remember that support is more than just cheering. Sometimes, it is standing firm, when they are wavering.

Are martial arts classes really necessary?

The answer depends mostly on three things.
  1. What are your core values as a parent, and what do you want for your children.
  2. Who is your instructor.
  3. What does he/she offer.
If you are not involved in your child's moment-by-moment growth, if you are a hands-off kind of
parent, who likes to leave the child to make his/her own decision, from as early as 5-6, to 18. If
you plan to provide everything for your child, so that they never have to know hardship, like you and
your parents did. If you what you care about are grades, grades, and even better grades. Then by
all means, martial arts training is not for your child. To put it concisely, you can't afford it.

Martial arts training aim to develop the whole person. Their physique, as well as their attitude. In martial arts, we welcome failure, just as we welcome success, for one does not exist without the other. We strive to do our best, and we learn to improve our limits and expand our comfort zone. Martial artist tend to be leaders. They don't want Mom/Dad to provide everything they want or demand, rather what they truly need. An opportunity to succeed, and the coaching to help them through it, not to guarantee success.

Martial artist put family and academics as top priorities, but realize that there are more important issues at stake here, then just great grades, great college, and high-paying jobs.
They are members of their society/village. They actively seek out to help others, not just themselves. They seek to become richer as a person, but not just in a monetary way.

So you see, the price to pay for a martial artist to become a black belt and reach beyond that, is more than the tuition you pay, it is more than the time you put to help your instructor. It is the love you put toward your training, knowing all the while that you only get, as much as you give.

Who is your teacher is a great factor. If you are a MAC-DOJO type person, whose only goal in bringing their child/themselves to class to get a belt, then you might as well not start. Because the type of training you get from those types of teachers, is only good for the four-walls that they teach in. It is a commercial enterprise, falsely presented with façade of self-improvement. If you don't want to be patient, work hard, give of your self and your talent to your friends in the martial arts school, contribute to your society, build strong character and courage. Then, don't start.

What your teacher offers, is not just a curriculum that he/she teaches. Anybody can teach you how to punch or kick, but only a master can guide you to a higher level of being. If all you think
about is punching, kicking, winning tournaments, or getting medals or trophies, so that you can show it on your college resume, then don't start.

One should start martial arts training, karate training, or other such undertakings, if one is looking beyond the obvious prize. What is this thing that I plan to do, what is its nature. That
should be your key concern. How will it make me a better person, what will do for me, that I can
then take to my family, community, and nation. How can it help me, leave my mark in a rightful and effective way on this world. If these are too complex of a question for you, then don't start.

Are martial arts classes really necessary? Well, if you can not see the importance of being courageous, kind, decisive, tenacious, hard-working, giving, active person, with tremendous amount of confidence and can do attitude, then no! They are not necessary.

If making a life is more important to you than just making a living, if being involved, is more important to you, then what you are entitled to, if you can see how important your role, as a single individual contributing, to his/her society is more important, then what you alone want.
Then may be you should be starting martial arts.

Remember, better to never start. But if start, better finish.

Being a Father

Father's day is upon us, and there a lot to be thankful for as father. My kids bring me tremendous joy, and fantastic challenges every day. Each of them are different in some ways, and share many similarities in many other ways. There's not a day that goes by, that I do not receive unconditional love from them, or learn something new. The blessing has been all mine.

I am confused though, when I hear someone say "I am a great father, I provide for everything that my child wants." When I ask what is everything? I generally get the same answers. Good school, nanny, nice house, great clothes, their own TV, various gaming consoles, etc. That raises an eyebrow or two from me.

One, how much time do you spend with your child, one-on-one. How many school award ceremonies do you attend? I mean really attend in person, and in spirit. When was the last time, you took your child out (just the two of you), and spent a day just hanging out. More importantly, should children get everything they want, or everything they need?

There's no doubt about the importance of the role that we play in our kid's life. If mothers are the nurturing earth, fathers are the pillar of strength, the wall of reason and the roof that protects them from harm. At the same time, if mom is the cradle of love, warmth and tenderness, dads are the spirit of discovery, adventure, risk taking and confidence.

Those qualities that fathers possess, are what shapes the mentality, responsibility and the ability of their children. What we provide then, should be more than monetary freedom. More than materialistic ventures, more than things to have.

The day we become fathers, we are given a gift. The ability to shape the future of a precious life, and indirectly, help benefit others as well. We are not here just to pay for tuition, books, games, and things, we are here to nurture, coach, guide, direct, counsel and teach by example.

Children may look to their mothers for love, but LOOK UP to their dad for leadership.

Happy Father's Day.

Price of Shyness

Often when I ask about a young boy/girl, I hear that they are "a good boy/girl." What does being good really mean though? How do we measure goodness, and are those the standard for everyone.

The answer is that goodness, or being good is relative. There are no set standards, and parents often compare their child, to the noisy, rambunctious kids they come across. Therefore, a quiet, unassuming child, that keeps to their own, and doesn't "bother" the parents, is considered good (most of the time).

But, is that good for the child. Children are meant to be exploring, prodding, and yes, causing some trouble. Now I am not talking about setting fires, or destroying property. But a child needs to be physically active and moving.

A child that keeps to himself, is not physically active, does not compete or train regularly, will develop substantial amount of obstacles in their teens and adult life. Whether we want it or not, life is competitive, and it is better to fail in controlled environment, where coaches and parents are there to soften your landing, then to never learn the price of a failure or defeat, and have to face it, as an adult.

The price of shyness for a child, is the exorbitant toll that it takes on the child in their childhood, and their lives as adults. Without knowing how to deal with situation, without getting out of the comfort-zone, without experiencing the discomfort of trying new things, and living the adventure that life is, their life will be uncomfortable, their achievements limited, and their personal experiences could be harsh.

To combat this, parents should make regimented trainings like martial arts, an important part of their child's upbringing. Learning how to set goals properly, working toward them, fair play, camaraderie, honesty, perseverance, tenacity, and friendship, is what martial arts are all about.

Why Should Lineage Matter to You

In general many karate schools operate as they wish, holding no standard of ranking or lineage. The importance of lineage to a client about to embark on this path, should be of absolute importance. Simply put, you are about to invest thousands of dollars, a great amount of your time (which is irreplaceable), and your health and well-being in the hands of another person. A guide if you will, to help you become a better person. If this was a medical or financial matter, you would ask for some credentials, or at the minimum do a local check on the legitimacy of this person.

Fortunately and unfortunately, internet is both our friend and foe on this task. A friend, if you know where to look, and a foe if you only believe your eyes. If you love seeing and training with an instructor that leaps in the air for acrobatics, is in the movie business, and has a lot image, then you are probably looking at an empty shell. You will be guaranteed to receive your black belt in 3-4 years, or sooner. You will execute dynamic looking, fancy kicks. You may even do some acrobatics.

However, the black belt you receive from that instructor, is good only within those four walls that you trained in. Sooner or later, you will find yourself either in another school, that teaches the same art, but in a traditional manner, or worst, in a situation requiring not only physical, but mental prowess i.e. defending yourself (physically or otherwise). You will in either case find yourself overwhelmed, under-trained and your training is not worth the paper that your black belt is printed on.

That rank that you received was a waste of your money, time, and efforts. May be you can impress your friends in parties, but in real life, you have gained nothing of value.

Such is the case with over 90% of current martial arts studios. Their black belt ranks are meaningless, and useless. When training in West Hills Karate Academy, you will receive your black belt in three stages.

Stage 1: Probationary black belt. Shows that you are 85-95% technically able to perform at a level of black belt. But you require seasoning and time, to hone your skills and your inner strength. You receive your probationary rank from a nationally known instructor, who finds you to have the potential to be better. Your black belt is plain or in case of juniors, has a white line through it. Signifying that imperfections exist.


Stage 2: National black belt. Shows that you have made substantial improvement within yourself physically, mentally and spiritually. You are at a higher level than before, but still lack the perfection level that is required. Your instructor provides you with a new certificate. However, your belt loses its white stripe if it had one, or your name and your national school name will be embroidered in Japanese, if you are an adult student.


Stage 3: International black belt. You test with an original Japanese certified master instructor, going through his detailed training and examination, as he notices and scores every movement you make, with his keen eye for perfection. You receive a diploma that is hand inscribed with your name and rank in Japanese. The authentic, original award of rank. Your belt now has the international organization embroidered on it.

You look back at your achievement, and know that you invested your ever so precious resources correctly. Time, effort and money well spent. You go anywhere in the world, and can hold your own in any Japanese karate school. Your diploma is instantly recognized. Your efforts appreciated, and you are now part of fraternity/sorority, that is unique and special.

We are here for you!

The West Hills Karate Academy is based on principles of Respect, Humility, Discipline, Tenacity, and Honor as building blocks of a productive lifestyle. The mortars by which these principles are bound are Love, Passion, Perseverance, Tenacity and Courage. With this, I believe that a human being can lead a productive and fruitful life, that benefits himself, his family and his country. The questions that come next, are natural ones. Where do you develop these attributes, how do you refine them and nurture them. In a word, Karate-do.

The “do” (pronounced doe) arts of Japan, are designed to test the and teach the human body and psyche, to reach its higher potential. Indeed, it is after we have gone through certain hardships in life, that we learn about the better, stronger and more resilient parts of our beings. Whether physical, mental or spiritual, challenges, severe and at times life-threatening challenges, seems to polish the armor without, and the mettle within. However, in today’s modern society the very extreme is not possible, except under most adventurous or dangerous circumstances. Therefore, a tamer yet still challenging mechanism must be made available to bring us to our full potential. In a word, Karate-do.

In today’s McDonalds society, were fast everything is prevailing, and patience and hard work, has given way to the sense of entitlement and demanding spirit to the youth of today, where responsibility and citizenship has given way to the what’s-in-it-for-me attitude, with no end in sight. Where it is uncool, if you don’t have a tattoo or two, rings and piercing in every possible part of your body, or if you are person who actually reads a book, or studies – in such environment, where God is less and less appreciated and respected, and at times completely forgotten about, where does one find a sanctuary to support life-building, family values to save one’s self, and sanity? In a word, Karate-do.

It has become more and more acceptable to take the easy way out. To have others take care of the problem. To not to get involved, and to look the other way. Our schools are in shambles, the religious institutions who were once trusted with our youth, have abused them, and now hiding behind their so-called spirituality. There is a fight brewing amongst those who wish to let things slide, and those who believe in humanity, kindness, love, charity, hard work, productivity and responsibility. Where do you train for such fight, how can you ensure that you can win your part of the battle. In a word, Karate-do.

We are the West Hills Karate Academy, and we are here for you.

What's In It For Me?!

Ah! The ever present question in today's culture of Me, Entitlements for Me, and Why Should I Wait! Such is the culture of McDonald society that we have brought upon ourselves. Fast, and immediate satisfaction, irregardless of lack of value, the damage it causes, or future return.

If you are a parent at a age of 40 and higher, you most certainly remember the many valuable aspects of the life of your childhood, that is either denied, or forgotten by today's kids. Playing in street with neighborhood kids, making things work when there was a disagreement, working hard to get what you wanted, learning to do with what you had, until your hard work paid out. Fighting your own fights, and owning up to your mistakes. A babysitter or a nanny was a luxury, neighbors took care of each other, because they knew each other, on their kids. Just to name a few.

Rap, was hip music that was cool to listen too, and didn't have derogatory words in it. You frowned upon racial slurs, and cops and firemen were heroes that we looked up to.

Teen years were spent delivering paper, or working somewhere to gather the money you needed for that first car, "the car." Mom and dad were glad to help, but the burden was on you. And, you still try to live your life that way.

Somewhere along the way, we were turned in to a "Consumer Nation," that was meant to be a herd of cattle or sheep, to buy, buy, buy. When you look around, there are 10-15 holidays per year, that you "must" spend money on. Woe, be upon you if you don't.

Criticizing bad workmanship, service or performance became a bad thing. In competition everyone had to get a prize. Not just 1st, 2nd or 3rd place. Because the psychologists told us that it is not good for our kids "self-esteem." God forbid, looking like a bad parent. We were taught that kids need to try everything, do all kinds of activities, before they found their niche.

Now I am not against trying new activity, but some decided to have Soccer, baseball, karate, art and chess, ALL AT THE SAME TIME. As a result, we have a generation of Jack of All Trades and Masters of None growing in our society.

Fortunately, those idiotic ideas have been backfiring. A return to a more normal, natural flow of life is being introduced back to our lives. Whether it is lack of money from decades of overspending to our limits, lack of time from having both parents work, to make ends meet, or it may be, just may be, the fact that we looked around and had the intelligence and wisdom to snap! and wake-up.

Karate is one of those root activities that will be here for those who understand the values of a strong family, and strong work ethics. Those who rather limit the quantity, in lieu of receiving more of quality of what they have. When physical prowess (western sports), is not enough. When the individual in mind and spirit, needs to be nourished.

Yes! you will sweat, feel pain from the workouts, be sore for some days, and come to tears at times. Yes! you will be elated, uplifted and feel an exhilaration like nothing before. Yes! if you take your son or daughter with you, you will share a bonding that is so rare, it can not be duplicated in any other activity. Yes! even if just your kids did it, you will instill in them a sense of serenity, perseverance, resiliency, and power, that will never be taken away from them. OR YOU!

Is karate for you and your kids? Yes! But only if your really want to make a change in your present and future.